Breaking Soul Ties at the Well: When Your Heart Is Still Entangled
She had five husbands.
And the man she was with wasn’t her husband.
That’s what we’re told about the woman at the well in John 4. It’s easy to reduce her story to scandal—but Jesus never did.
Instead, He met her in her tangled reality—with all its soul ties, pain, and complexity—and offered her something she’d never received before: living water, and a way out of the cycle.
What Is a Soul Tie?
A soul tie is a deep emotional, spiritual, or physical connection we form with another person. Sometimes they’re healthy—like the bonds between a parent and child, a godly marriage, or deep friendship.
But sometimes, soul ties are unhealthy, unhealed, or unfinished—and they leave pieces of our hearts stuck in places we were never meant to stay.
In midlife, we often begin to feel the weight of those past ties more than ever:
Relationships we never healed from
People we can’t forget, even when we know we should
Spiritual entanglements from a life we’ve already left behind
The Woman at the Well Had Ties, Too
She was entangled. Not just in sin, but in patterns. In dependence. In grief. In rejection. In cycles that left her dry—emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.
And yet Jesus didn’t shame her. He said:
“You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’ for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband...” (John 4:17–18, NKJV)
He called it out not to condemn her, but to free her.
Because you cannot heal what you hide.
How Soul Ties Keep Us Stuck
Soul ties affect more than our past—they linger:
We can’t fully connect with our spouse because part of us is still with someone else.
We still crave validation from someone who once rejected us.
We feel spiritually confused because of ties to people or places that were not God-led.
We keep replaying moments, conversations, or regrets like they just happened.
Jesus came to that well that day not just to give her water—but to untie her from what was keeping her stuck.
Letting Jesus Untie the Knots
Healing from soul ties starts with an invitation—not to strive, but to surrender.
Here’s how that healing begins:
1. Recognize Where You're Still Tied
Is there a person, relationship, or memory you still feel connected to in a draining or confusing way? Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal it gently.
2. Name the Attachment Honestly
Say it out loud. Write it in a journal. Don’t justify it or edit it. Just bring it into the light—Jesus already knows.
3. Pray for Release
Ask God to sever any emotional or spiritual bond that is not from Him. Surrender the tie and invite Him to fill that space with peace.
“He restores my soul…” – Psalm 23:3 (NKJV)
4. Receive the Living Water
The woman at the well left her jar behind. And you can leave yours too—along with the soul ties that have drained you.
A Prayer for Breaking Soul Ties
Jesus, I bring You the places in my soul still tangled in the past.
I surrender every unhealthy tie, every person, every memory.
Break the bond that was never meant to last.
Untie my soul from anything that is not of You.
And fill the empty space with Your living water. Amen.
You Are Free to Walk Away
You don’t have to stay tied to what broke you.
You don’t have to keep thirsting for something that never satisfied.
Like the woman at the well, you can drop the jar, walk away, and finally—be free.